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Saying Goodbye to Our Allie Girl

 

On Mother’s Day of 2005, I asked for a dog.

Sort of.

I think it was more that I gave in to my husbands constant nagging for a fury family member, but regardless we went for it.

Our oldest was one and a half and in that sweet wobbly walking age, so why not?…

Is it a written rule to get a puppy when you have wee little ones?… I am sure somewhere it is….

Kinda like a new car and a new house. Right…

That year, I told several people in our lives I’d gotten a dog for Mother’s Day. You can imagine the reactions were varied. Most came with a hard cold stare, or with a good chuckle.   

So that was Allie Compton. She was the sweetest most loving bundle of energy.

We were smitten. 

Saturday morning we woke up and she was gone. She was almost 13. A long time to live for a dog. 

Being completely aware this day would come soon, we’d been trying to get mentally prepared for the day our girl would leave us.

Try as hard as you may, nothing prepares you to say goodbye to a faithful friend. 

She was in the house most of the day Friday, as usual, and the kids were loving on her. She was in the yard playing like her normal self just a few days before.

Sigh…

I am grateful we did not have to see her suffer, she was always in optimum health.

I am grateful for the dog that patiently watched us grow as a family, and was just there, keeping us company all the way through.

 

 Almost 13 years of having her in our lives, it’s gonna take a while to get used to her not being around anymore. 

Without a doubt in my mind, she did more for us than we did for her. Whatever good or bad we may have had with her were all worth it. I feel like I am a better person because I got to experience having her as part of our family.

Love, Helen

The responsibility, patience, selflessness, and commitment that comes with having a dog makes us stronger, all-around better people – Emily Wang from Barkpost

 

 

 

 

Grief and the Holidays

I consider I’ve experienced moments of grief in my life. These have been times of loss and doubt. Or both. 

Some I look back and wonder how I ever thought they were grief… good grief…

I am sure some of you can relate.

I remember the day I found out we were pregnant with our first child. It was not a joyous time. I felt like a failure because I was young, afraid and did not know who to turn to. 

Of all the things I thought could happen to me in that time of life, being a young mother was far removed from it all.

It did not help that the man I was expecting from was a stranger to me. And I was a stranger to him. 

Now I can see, I had plenty of support, I was taking it for granted.

This year, mid October my father-in-law passed away. Unexpectedly. Of all the things I could have imagined for us, loosing my father-in-law was far from my mind. 

There were behaviors and actions he displayed that were not good for him. Sometimes he was not easy to deal with.

He sometimes made it difficult for us to see him in public places. He had lost a lot of friends and contact with loved ones.

As parents, Ryan and I had set many boundaries for him.

Boundaries we did not want to have to set, but we thought these would help him do better. We wanted to have a functional, happy, healthy father and father-in-law.

More than anything I wanted my father-in-law to love our kids with a constant love. These behaviors were stealing his ability to provide that for them. For anyone really. 

I had a lot of faith that he would get help. We offered him all we could.

We thought we were getting close to finding a solution and he seemed almost willing to take help.

He was only 70.  I imagined  many more years with him. Him holding his great grand children and loving on them. Restored into a new life of freedom from all his hang ups.

But then he died. 

A few days before Christmas we found out a little more about how he died. 

I can’t describe the pain we felt to know these things. We still have questions that will forever in this world go unanswered. 

Doesn’t matter. 

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Easter 2017. Last picture of Sammy with his boys, his pride and joy.

I have hope he is resting and free of the bondage of these things.

 

Christmas was tough. Tougher then I thought it could be, but yet it was a different sort of good. 

We enjoyed being with my mother-in-law but a few times I found it hard to swallow our meal and sat wondering. Wondering what it would be like if he were still here and well.

I am also grateful to God because even in the grief, He has brought to mind sweet memories of my father-in-law. I have been able to shared some with my husband and the kids.

Some memories I recall and forget almost immediately. I think it is helping us to get on to recall. 

I am grateful to the many neighbors, friends and family who ask us without reservation how we are. 

I understand reaching out to those grieving can be uncomfortable. 

Here is an article that was helpful for me: What Grieving People Wish You Knew At Christmas.

One thing I do regret; I regret not reaching out to those who have suffered in this time. Or anytime.

Even though things may seem well, grief is a rollercoaster of emotions. 

I pray you can find, or help someone find, the Merry and Happy in the Holiday season.

No matter what your grief is. 

Merry Golden Christmas 2018

 

 

 

Touch of Many Countries in the City

I love, love, love what the city of Doraville did this year with the Mayor’s Annual Christmas Tree Lighting.

What a wonderful way to celebrate the diversity of this community and open the eyes of it’s residents, and it’s visitors, to the many cultures and customs of other lands.  

It started off with an amazing performance from the Dunwoody High School Choir. They did an excellent job with the accapella Christmas Carols. 

The Chinese Cultural School of Atlanta yo-yo performers were impressive to say the least. 

The Gokul Nritya Raj Dance Academy cultural dance routine was reflective and beautifully presented.

U.S. Marine Corps singers came out and gave it their all. God bless the men and women who are willing to lay down their lives for us. 

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Mayor Donna Pitman did a great job getting the kids (and adults) excited about the new tree being lit. Which is beautiful. You have to get by and see it in person. Great choice guys. 

And Donna P. did a great job getting the kids pumped about Santa’s arrival. He got a little upgrade with his ride this year and was riding happily in the passenger seat of a hot rod. Next year Mrs. Clause needs to do the honors of escorting him in.

He also came accompanied by  the Panamanian Marching Band who really got the party started.

Once Santa and his helpers got to City Hall, they took their place and got down to business. I believe we were family # 90 something, so that tells you he was up to a busy night.

B.T.W. You know who you are Santa’s little helpers, you did a great job with pictures and getting the kids comfortable with their photo shoots.

We mingled out of doors while we waited for our turn to get pictures.

The light show started while we waited and it was dazzling! The kids had a blast practicing their dance moves. 

We were a touch late upon arrival, so we missed the craft making and s’mores on the fire pit. Still we had a great time. 

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Fact is, D’ville had a night packed with activities, we almost missed getting our pictures done with St. Nicholas.

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Making changes and re-vamping can be a scary thing sometimes. Hats off to a hard working team of folks!

You greatly succeeded and knocked it out of the ballpark!!!! 

Go D’Ville!!!

♥ all of us

 

 

 

A Small Kind of Accomplishment

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Ours was restful and enjoyable in many ways.

I thought I would put some thoughts down since I have been feeling overwhelmed and this is quite therapeutic for me.

Over two weeks ago our washer gave up. 

It was a Friday night, November 10th to be exact. I’d just finished washing an un-earthly amount of things. I figured it was just having a fit so I ignored it and didn’t bother with it. 

Four days later I remembered it was broken and mentioned it to Ryan expecting he would try and fix it again.

He had taken it apart this past summer after it choked on him. I was off in Phoenix galavanting, and he was home alone with all the kids and mountains of laundry.  

Whatever he did worked.

The washer and dryer combo were here when we moved in. It was a nice upgrade from what we had, nothing. Who doesn’t love free?!

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Kitchen entry before with pantry and laundry. The washer and drier combo were left by the previous owners.

Unfortunately, both had been problematic since we moved in. The washer had a permanent stench to it and mold. The dryer did not dry well. Clothes had to be run 2 or 3 cycles before they dried to my satisfaction. Sometimes it dried fine with 1 cycle. 

We went to Lowe’s a few days before Thanksgiving. Delivery was backed up a week or so.

In the meantime I inconvenienced my amazing neighbor by getting a few washes in at her house, what are neighbors for right?… Now she needs to come over and use our new washer and dryer… wink*

And we went to the laundromat twice with $50 worth of laundry to wash and dry.

The delivery truck came today and we got our new washer and dryer!

In trying to stay in that grateful mind set, here are some things to be thankful for:

  • We got a good deal on both appliances because it happen to be Thanksgiving, pre-Black Friday madness.
  • The drier came with a big dent in the corner. That got us an additional 20% discount on the drier and we did not need a new dryer hose. Another 11 bucks saved and credited back to us. 
  • It had been a good 5 years since I washed at a laundromat. It was taxing lugging all our stuff in and out of there and I was shocked at how expensive it can be to use a laundromat on a regular basis. 
  • Going to the laundromat with our 7 year old was a good reminder that the kids are well and capable of helping with the laundry at home. He did such a great job sorting and loading the washers at the laundromat. I need to re-kindle our chore chart.
  • I was trying to remember if in the 14 years we’ve been married we have had to buy a new washer and dryer…?… I don’t think so. We’ve always had used. 
  • The new ones washed and dried like a champ! 

It’s the little things.

Thanks for reading,

♥ Helen

 

 

Thanksgiving 🍁 11/23/17

Thank you for allowing me a voice.

A whole lot has been going on in our personal lives. Some difficult, some joyful. We are healthy and all our needs are meet.

I am wanting to write about it all but I do feel stretched to the limit. 

So, even with the disappointments and difficulties we’ve been facing, God has been faithful and I have many things and people to be grateful for. 

So this Thanksgiving season, I am choosing to be very thankful. 

Happy Thanksgiving 

Little Bird Says

In Need Of Renovations

I feel selfish saying we have a need for anything.

Our home is beyond comfortable and livable. From the outside looking in, everything looks fine.

The reality of home owing is different. Like most home owners, you begin to dwell in your humble home, and you begin to see things that need attention. Necessities. 

For several years we’ve been making a list of home improvement projects. We’ve also been working on saving to tackle them. And at the beginning of this summer we were pretty pumped and ready to do something about those necessities. 

Although, we think we have the ability to do most of the work, Ryan’s schedule is far more demanding than it was 4 years ago, when he tackled the interior remodel. The time commitment is huge. And I think it would overwhelm us both. 

Since we homeschool, and are normally home most of the day. It may become the end of us. 

We decided to bite the bullet and explore contracting the projects out.

With a ballpark amount in mind, and once we felt like we had enough savings, we began the tedious task of getting bids.

Immediately we focused our energy on getting bids on relatively big things.

We realized if we started with little things, it could be counter productive to go small, then big. Running the risk that once we went on to the bigger items on our necessities list, we could potentially harm the smaller work done.  

Just to give you an idea, here is what is on our list

  1. A pool. Just kidding. Wrong list. 
  2. The retaining wall in the backyard. Original to our 50’s home, the cinder block retaining wall is falling apart, and holding back our neighbors side yard, they are on a hill above us. Another section is all railroad ties from the early 80’s (work my father in law did). These are disintegrating and work as an island that keeps back a large amount of overgrown trees in our own yard. We are concerned with making sure that someone very knowledgable can take this on.
  3. Replace the entire carport. It is rotting and falling apart, and since we would already be replacing the wood, we would go ahead and widen it a touch.
  4. Remove the front shed. It is currently right in front of the front door. So the curb appeal is off to say the least. Right now it functions as our dogs (Allie’s) outdoor room. 
  5. The soffit and cornice around the house are starting to fall apart and are rotted in several places.
  6. Re-paint the entire house. Brick and siding. The caulking is coming loose, the wood is becoming exposed, this allows for the potential of water damage. 
  7. Gutters and downspout, we have none in the front, so there is a waterfall when it rains making mud puddles all around the front perimeter of the house. 
  8. The roof line would need to change since the carport would widen a touch. 
  9. The fireplace. I didn’t like the fireplace a few posts ago. I think I hate it now. The smell of wet that comes from it is beginning to wear on me. The kids had walking pneumonia this summer, never before. I blame it on the fireplace. That may be a bit of an irrational conclusion to come to.
  10. Our electrical box is at its max capacity. We need to change the service line. The house is asking for more power than the line can deliver. 
  11. We would like to bury all the lines that come from above into the house. 
  12. Finish painting our McDaddy shed. Fix the shed roof because months after we finished the shed, a tree branch poked a significant size hole in the roof. Although we patched it, it still leaks when it rains. 

It’s a long list.

The Hard Cold Numbers

When we went into this we really thought $60,000 would take care of A LOT.

Which is more than we had managed to save, but it couldn’t be more than that — could it? 

Well… All the bids we received were somewhere in the $65,000-$80,000 range.

That does not include the retaining wall replacement, that was another $20,000.

Or the electrical work from GA Power which would have been another $5,000

I should have laughed it off. But… I am pretty sure my eyes bulged when I saw the numbers, and my heart broke. 

Okay, that may have been a bit dramatic. It was more like someone socked me in the stomach. 

Theoretically, lets just say we had the cash. Which we don’t.

Do we feel like this is a good investment. We think it necessary.

Do you know what I mean though?

Am I looking at it all wrong

Ultimately, for another $100,000 we could have a house that could be in much better long-term shape.

But what if God calls us away from our beloved Doraville in 5 to 10 years?

Will our house be worth the $300,000 (plus) we would have invested into it? (mortgage 129. First major remodel 50. Endless yard work 20. The necessary, new, not yet done renovations to the exterior 100. This is a rough estimate in thousands. Cash money y’all!!!)

Not sure we would be getting our money back.

We would still have 1,100 sq. ft. 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom.  

We would certainly have to put our “wish” list aside. 

I need to forget about the things I dream we could have one day:

  • pool, sunroom/ portico
  • new fence
  • metal roof
  • a 2 car carport (instead of a 1 car carport, oh the 50’s were simpler times ♥)
  • Master suite, just one more bathroom (even if just a half bath), so our house is more hospitable when we have visitors.

How will we ever be able to afford it all when this damn house needs, needs, needs…

Rage. Episode. Over. This is truly where I am. 

I think of a little more space sometimes. It’s hard to explain the dynamics of being in a house with constant noise and chatter. I am so grateful that we have to be forced into living life together (together is our favorite place to be, right?).

But… sometimes I just want to go hide in another part of the house and not be found.

I can’t, there is no other space to hide in the house. 

Yes, I am making the 1,100 sq. ft house experience sound treacherous. I am just being honest. Real. Sometimes I, we, just need a little space. 

So here we are. All summer has felt like we’ve had our hands tied behind our backs with this whole thing. 

I think that’s why I haven’t written about the house in months. I loved writing about something different, like Portland. Thank you for reading. 

I wanted to take my mind off of homeownership. I was fortunate enough to traveled this summer, besides Portland. I tried my best to focus on enjoying the sights, and the special time with friends. Love you my BFF N.P!

I kind of regret not writing about my first time visit to Arizona and the Grand Canyon, during fourth of July. It was amazing.

And our family beach trip to our favorite forgotten coast island in Florida, which was interrupted by Irma – in Saint George. 

I should be grateful that not one of the items on our list is truly pressing. Still, they run the risk of becoming problems. If you’ve owned a home. You know that problems, mean more money. 

One positive thing we got done this summer to the house is that we had an overgrown, trashy privet removed from our front yard. It was taller than the house, so it provided a little shade.  

We also had a massive tree in the front yard trimmed, so that hopefully if it falls it will go into the street and not land on our or anyones home and kill us all. Melodramatic? 

That set us back several thousand. 

Even though we trimmed it significantly, the tree services we used warned us that taking the entire tree down would still cost us several grand. 

I didn’t have a point when I started, but I’m gonna take a shot at it.

I think the point of this story is home owning is a HUGE responsibility. 

It’s not for dandies like me.

Thanks for being my therapy Doravillians, I cherish you deeply!

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